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| ThankYou India......... |
| 06.22.04 (11:59 pm) [edit] |
LAst hellloooo from India....
I must admit... I left McGleod Ganj with a little sadness in my heart...
I have made such a great friend in Nitin, my yoga teacher... such deep love I will always have for him...
I have been blessed to meet such an amazing spirit
and I miss him already... but life isn't always holiday paradise and now its time to figure out the work plan- and such hapiness in that because I am blessed with also loving the work that I do as well....
In 4 hours I head to NY-- how wild !-
I have spent a day in Delhi and met some Americans on the bus- what a weird things to have so much English around me! I was free flowing like crazzzyyy- I think the guy next to me from Cali got sick of hearing me ! They told me some shitty stories about what's going down in America and that was a surprise...right? just the beginning of what i will hear....I wound up sharing a room with this Israeli girl who had just come back from Tokyo and told me all about it... and the one American lady from Minneapolis- She's a really cool woman- 36, bold blonde - down to earth, owns a business selling exports ... we make a cool connection...
My 2 days in Bombay were chill .... just writing and reading and yesterday ---
A trip to meet and touch the Arabian Sea for the first time was in order- me being so close to it when I looked at the map- I set that as my top goal while in Bombay.
And so I hopped on the local bus and went to Juhu Beach. Hot, sticky beach with dark brown ocean water rolling rolling on....
On the shores I got some Henna done on my right palm from a pushy Indian woman...but it was nice to contribute to art and meditate while she painted away...
I got a better henna done the day before in Delhi- an Arabic design which I like better but just another way to pass the day so all is good. I drank out of a coconut and talked to some strange dude that said he saw me in Goa-- which I have never been to but he insisted...
He took me to the beach temple which he said he owned and showed me pictures of him holding huge trophies from his horseracing... he's a jockey... He introduced to me to his horse and then I made my way to walk the beach alone to see what I see and to absorb the sea...
Unfortunately, as in all of India...there are many things on this beach you have to cast aside to almost the point of pretending ignorance in order to be close to nature...
Millions of people began to come as the day went on and the littered beaches was something I should ave expected but am always in complete dismay to witness....
They have all of these hokey crazy metal weird looking kiddie rides littering the shores as well- trippy-
and as I am the absolute ONLY non-Indian on the beach - I am often crowded by chatty, pushy people staring asking questions haggling....
Not the type of natural chatter by the sea I was hoping for.....
A young dark young girl and her naked little younger brother sat by me for a while while I got my henna done... The girl's tattered stained broken dress and rotting teeth and thick odor had to be overlooked as I tried to show her much much love - she would fight with her brother in annoyance of him- she's about 5 he's about 3- she's annoyed it seems of having to care for him... His little body naked in the dirty sticky sand with bloated belly is tearing at my heart - the whole scene is tearing at my heart - yet I sit and smile and only show love play and love for them...
I buy them a meal and sit in silence with them for a little while ... a deep sadness is growing within me as I try to live as they do for a minute to understand and I feel so much pain and discomfort oozing out of them - I want to wrap them up and wash them free of it all....
I am reading a book by Osho about Intution and where it comes from and how to tap into it more right now- and some of the things he speaks of I really HATE - and other things are a good discussion of a subject I like to see dissected and at times he makes much sense...
One thing he says is the reason why India has no good politicians is because all of the great men are more spiritual than dealing in politics- which is a place where the instinct and animalistic thinking reigns more. The best men of India dwell and find real truth by tapping into and being in the more important realm of superconsciousness where intuition and this higher consciousness reigns....
but I wonder what this Osho says about these children and the filth on the beach and the sad poverty of the people that can be helped ONLY through some better politics and some more people who care more about helping alll find truth instead of renouncing everything and going off to a cave to chant and meditate reach truth and superconsciousness for the self ONLY without helping the greater good somehow....
Its funny my feelings about the children here... they pull at your arms with dirty fingers and beg all around - and especially attach themselves to foreigners and now I have realized why-- because we actually look them in the eye and actually give them a word like no- or do you want some rice or fruit or shoes...
I have seen the richer Indians completely ignore these children and I tried it later that day yesterday on the street and it tore at my heart but I remained totally silent and played total ignorance... and they went away quicker than ever before...
sadness... I don't know much about India's politics or their social services etc... but I will never understand how people can have it in their heart to turn such a complete blond eye to their own people who are suffering...
And maybe its a matter of just thinking of the caste and thinking of how maturally SOMEONE needs to take out the garbage- someone needs to do the lower jobs - BUT MY GOD must you throw heaps more of garbage on to them just because yes it is a natural system that there will be people doing lower and higher jobs???
The mountain children were sweet. They would stare in wonder to see the foreigner and giggle and wave and only approach me to check me out in shock and amazement mostly with open arms to let me into their village as a guest - not open arms to ask for alms like the children more in the city... The mountain children were a rough and tough bunch who just like the city children were rugged and filthy and barefoot in cow manuer etc... running about wild and free ...
At first I thought this to be so sad of the mt children- as some I did cry over- but their rugged way of live is what must expose them to the type of harsh bacteria and diseases they must build immunity to in order to survive in such a place... My softness and weakness at times was my sterilized lifestyle I am used to and my knowledge of what the creepy crawlies can do which gave me more unneccessary paranoia more tahn anything... but I saw strength in some of what most would consider utter filthiness and I actually began to appreciate the "natural" life in the mts....
but I wonder what the balance is here- ?
Living life in a sterilized fake-beautiful bubble where there's concealer and airbrushed images and the idea of cleanliness being next to godliness and wimpiness towards nature -eeww-screech there's a spider! eeewww screech there's a spot on my dress I MUST change every DAMN DAY...and eeww screech let's deodorize and load ourselves with perfume and kill the natural sense of smell completely and eww lets shave and wax and pluck ourselves to loook like what?
And I speak of this so freely because DAmn IT .. I believe in these things too- and in the past have done it too much to tooo much of the fullest extent wasting my time on these worries - An hour and a half or more every morning to pick and preen and dress and worry and then I say OOHH but I have no time to do this good thing and that good thing like yoga, like prayer, like make a lunch, LIKE HAVE BREAKFAST!! and sooo there you are - let's count the hours and hours of time we waste worrying about these things that don't matter- reevaluate the time we put into good charitable virtuous things and run the numbers side by side since we like to see numbers so much -- and WHY?? WHY? do that? Why see truth when imagined reality is sooo much more cushy comfortable ....and we don't have to immediately see the neagtive affects of such selfishness - so who cares?
I wonder how much of these things I will naturally begin doing again when I return... All these things I am used to I am used to that have fully proven to expose me as an extremely soft, weak American in the nicest terms... and I thought I was like one who actually cared...
Its hard to think of these things- which is why most people don't analyze their day their time their true knowledge practice - their truth...
And why should I- as one person practice any austerity when everyone else isn't....
Its like the garbage problem in India, I have seen even rich educated people tossing messy junk out windows and then later say-- pollution is due to lack of education..... hmmm and then I know its due to hopelessness and lack of concern....
So how do we better these things and who cares, really?
When you are not naturally made to care immediately in life....
I am happy to say that I have met many people- many Americans out here who ARE taking responsibility for their great privileges they were born into, and the education and "freedom" they have - which complain complain- they are more than many many poor people have....
And all this and much more went through my mind as I rode the bus back to my hotel - triggered mostly by watching many people trip over and walk over a young dark Indian boy sweeping up the dirty sticky garbage from the ground in front of a business with his bare hands and bare feet probably making a whole 10 rupies=25cents for the job.....
My last thoughts on India and the world here while I am here in India -- but there will be many many more to come as I bring India and all of my travels through Asia with me in me as me forever....
much love and peace to you all.... I am off on a plane to NY now.....
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| HOMEcoming!!!!!!!!!!! |
| 06.17.04 (6:27 am) [edit] |
What up people?
I have just returned from a long intense journey!!!
Its been a while since I have been near such modern things because I bought a motorcycle and went deep into the wilderness with my yoga/reiki teacher/ dear friend --- seeing the mts on a bike I can not begin to explain---climbing some enormous mountains on some 10 mile treks into some remote Himalayan Indian villages--I will try to brief you on the ineffable....
I have seen where the storybook shepards and wild horses and their milk suckling colts live and have travelled and lived amidst hundreds and hundreds of goats, sheeps, buffallo, cows and yaks and have eaten holy prasad with the shepards at temples in hailstorms 3000m up high..
I have stayed with families in the villages and lived their way of life for 30 days, -- I have become part of families and a lifestyle in a poverty of almost all of the material things I have seen my true dependance on in shame most times, Yet families unpoor really, for they are very rich in love and warmth and virtue and charity and kindness and ofcourse FAMily...
I have lived a rough and tough life, exposed my soft and weak American-ness and hopefully uprooted the softened bruised parts- the too sweet of the fruit...
I feel as if if I have travelled back into the 1900's and now being back in McGleod Ganj- I feel spacy and amazed as if I came back to the 1960's --and soon America will blow my mind as if I am stepping into the future 2050....!
Its so funny how when I first came to this little city McGleod Ganj---- I spent many days uncomfortable without the modern things I am used to, street cleaners, and less cowshit and smelly garbage and pollution, a shower head with hot water instead of a low hanging faucet no sink or mirror and dirty buckets of cold water IF the water is running that day to keep clean, normal foods that don't make my stomach flip with spices or icky things- less eyes of dirty men glaring at you or hawking you to buy something, a clean bed that won't give you bed bug bites, a clean floor where you can take your shoes off without leaving footprints... on and on - this is India right. Learning to adapt to this lifestyle in this city was hard enough without many things--- but now that I have come from even deeper rough and tough Indian life in these remote villages- its amazing how conmforting this city is to my body or mind or what I can't figure because I keep thinking - DO I REALLY need these things? WHY?....
I traveled back to the 1900's --the way life used to be and we had to live with out all the cushy things most can't live without- Things as simple as chairs and bathrooms forget toiletpaper, and tampons, and chimneys, and telephones... and as serious as a nearby water supply--- think about life without a fridge, without plumbing, without a toothbrush, without ... although these mts gush forth water at many amazing places from such heights- women and young girls travel for miles or so away from the well or fall with huge metal pots on their heads 2 times daily to keep the house for the men...
I have made close friends with these amazing strong Indian women and their families- such a strong people are these people of the mountain - displaying a strength I have never seen humans capable of til now-
and I struggled greatly in my weaknesses that surely surfaced and I carved in my heart and soul what the modern world has lost
-- and I reveled in some of my strengths to make it up some 10 mile steep day trek climbs deeper into the villages where no cars can even go due to the mt's untameability, and reveled in some of the things I could quietly offer in my demeanor and emanation of much love and peace to the people, the only language I could speak to them with out knowing their mother tongue....
Seeing even motocars again when I first surfaced back out of the mountains was a shock and silly sign of humans and their development ...what things we do!
SO ... now I am here in McGloed Ganj and on June 19th- in just 2 days! I head to Delhi for a day and then will take a plane from Delhi to Bombay on the 21st, and then Bombay to NEW YORK NEW YORK on the 23rd of June....I have a long 4 days of travel ahead of me before I enter NY -- Is NY ready for me I wonder? AM I READY for NY???
I miss everyone so so much - my amazing journey is slowly moving closer to home-- -- NEXT WEEEK!!
Let me know where you are at and how u r because I hope I am coming to meet you all soon- !!!
Much love and peace to you all....!!
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| To Manali and back.... |
| 05.11.04 (10:36 am) [edit] |
...
So I am back from Manali.
The 12 hour busride on the gov't bus was a rickety open door and window dusty bouncy ride up and down and through even more enormous mountains. Indians packed into the bus with no room to move and stood for hours - I could feel what is barely a pain for them anymore, even though I luckily had a window seat which afforded a little bit of comfort. I was happy for the change and had crooked neck dreams, but slept somewhat soundly convincing myself that the bus' constant horn blaring was some bird I didn't mind...
It grew dark and mid way to Manali, many more Indians needed to take the bus- it must be the only one in hours and they look like they are on their way home from work because - many Indians even climbed on the roof and held tight for their lives just to get home around the mountain road's sharp curves the bus plunged on through ....
We arrived at 330 in the morning, half awake, unaware, rubbing the eyes...We drank some hot Chai from a dirty street vendor cart and waited for a mototaxi to come by and take us to a home. We were dropped off in New Manali, which turned out to be a smaller Dehli, dirty and chaos, and many faces grilling you all the time...
We stayed in a local village called Vasith. It'smain feature is a natural hot springs, which we later witnessed as a public bath and kitchen sink and laundry mat for all of the locals and tourists get in on it too...
Out of New Manali and into Vasith Village ... riding in a little tuk tuk like taxi moto thing...I think my mouth dropped, trying to stand and imitate the gaping immense gray mountain walls of the Himalayas against the midnight blew sky mts gaping drawing me towards them, sparkling a crisp light from its snowy top edges in reflection of the moon and stars slowly swirling around, and then the thrashing sound of the powerful Beas River raging on the raodway to Vasith...
We hiked up quite a while into the mountain of Vasith and reached this little guesthouse that offered an elevated view of the great mts we would later only get to scale a small amount of...they are surreal and when you get into the 40th km of a 2500 km height, you begin to realize how just touching the pine forests and some cliffs are about as good as you can get in a one day's climb... and try a 3 day climb with camping to touch the snow's beginning...
As I was with my Indian friend, i visited many Hindu temples... they are odd and formless nonluxurious seeming things. In comparison to the Buddhist displays at the temples that I have seen throughout Asia, the Hindu temples are pale, yet dark and they pray to some faceless formless god shrines that just begin to explain the eeriness and mystery behind the Hindu religion and rituals.
Ofcourse there are the Shiva, Ganesh, and other gods faces and statues at some temples- but as I have been reading about Hinduism - doesn't it make more sense that God have no real face or form - I mean I know I am used to seeing a happy Buddha belly or a peace Jesus face to feel close to and understand God- but the Hindus - they have got some other kind of understanding of it all and as I unravel it all it deepens my understanding of Gods and nature and Indians and man in general...
So imagine people chanting and praying unintelligible things to my ears ( I am beginning to learn) with namaste hands and 3rd eyes gleaming to these lumps of some thing of a space meaning God I can't stare at long enough to figure incense burning smoke forms around offerings, coconuts and puffed sweet rice and colored tinseled garlands and clothes - AND maybe you can begin to feel the eeriness and wonder underlying one's spiritual journey through India.... even though I learn more in depth each day, there is still something India has to show the world aboput God that not many ever knew, or may ever know in their entire life...
And well the nature ALONE is testament enough to prove the existence of God in every single thing - the god of the powerful winds rushing down the mountain side, the thrash of the river - meditative sounds that put you closer whether you tap into it deep enough or not...
We walked 5 k to Old Manali and found the Israeli take over, revving their motocycle engines and smoking hashish in the streets like they owned the place... amidst old ladies carrying huge bundles of braches and hay on their heads and backs up the mt doing their daily duties...many indian tourists and village children- check out the pictures someday...
We hiked 5 k back to our village and then rested....
The next day we headed up into the mt to a beautiful waterfall that fell from maybe 100 feet high down down doewn- a vein running from melted snow caps carved the rock face and produced a powerful loud steady pound... I found a grassy spot on the mnt side sitting in buttercups honey and the boastful dance of millions of violet and white butterflies closed my eyes and internalized it all for a while only to open my image of it all baked under the crust of my eyelids- eyes open more illuminated the towering immense snowybacked beasts and the rocks edges that seriously shimmer a bronze gold and silver and crystal glow they naturally are always give off...I never saw stones like these...
We hiked another 7 k to New Manali following the powerful Beasto buy our ticket home after the 3 days we spent there, and this time by daylight I realized how the govt bus really took most of the sharp curves of the mt road our wheels no doubt at times suspended in air hanging off the the disappearing steep rick cliff shoulders feeling like I was practically above the raging Beas river that surely looked hungry for 4 hours running along it until night fell...
I arrived in Dharamsala and then went to a negihboring village of Bagksu where I spent the night and morning-
I was eager to get back to yoga and teaching and the strong Tibetan influence in Mcleod Ganj town and so I made my wat there where I am now.
I am continuing my yoga class and am now taking up an Indian painting class and am teaching a group of monks English. Today we had an amazing conversation about eating disorders, religion and compared East and West cultures and the students are wonderful and I feel settled again in a place I know well now...
I do miss home but I don't miss the many things i know are of excess and unneccesarry there. I am shedding my need for things, for luxuries like hot showers and western pillpopping medicine and am eager to see what my next 3 weeks here will bring...
Greg now will not be able to meet me in Europe, and so I can not go alone financially, and so I have changed my ticket for no stop time in London, direct flight, Bombay to London to NY on June 7th and will spend the extra 10 days here...
The Dalai Lama has arrived yesterday from his travels in the US and Canada and so I am sure to get to meet him at a public hearing he is surely soon to have...
many tyhings on the way but for now some sleeep is in order....
much love and peace to you all... hope you are well... keep connected... Andrea
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| ACrossss Cultures.... |
| 05.05.04 (10:13 am) [edit] |
What up people....?
So I have figured out who the Indian version of Santa Claus is. He's a BaBa they say...
When I first stepped into the Himalayas in a sleepy state after a 12 hour busride from Dehli- I spotted him climbing the mountain and thought --
WHAT Planet Am I on? Where am I entering? His orange robes and bright white hair and long beard and hooked back and dark skin and walking stick...??)(*^%## like I do with many scenes here...
The Spaniards and I on the back of the bus had quieted the crazy giddy laughing fits caused by the bumpy ride -
and now sleep started calling us all-
the windy climb up the mountain roads didn't help my feelings on my first sight of a BaBA...
Soo, while I was hanging out with my yoga teacher and his friends - playing chess, listening to some bugged out Indian music, laughing, drinking some of the local wine-- out of nowhere I bring up the Indian version of Santa Claus I have been dying to know about- they all busted out laughing at me and I can imagine that they realize what a trip it is to be here! It was funny.
Hari told me he is a Baba, a roaming religious man. I saw his young son also- and what a character he was.
My Indian friends call me Chetna, which in Hindi means
Positive Life Energy Force. They like to paint a bindi on my forehead because they think i look Indian-- which is not a surprise--- In Korea and other parts of Asia many have asked me if I am Indian... I also have been hearing people say that I look like an Israeli a lot here as well...That's funny I go to India and they now call me an Israeli? Sooo- What is a bindi? Its your 3rd eye opener/marker, the dot on the forehead.... A beautiful concept-- as we all should remember that we are capable of seeing things in this life with a deeper eye other than our 2 physical ones....
I am still working on my Hindi, Sanskrit and Tibetan and walk around, hiking, and then tripping over the street dogs and garbage eating cows -
I have noticed how the dogs gaurd the city at night and fall completely asleep most of the day- its pretty interesting!...
My yoga teacher has headed to meet his teacher called a sadhu- or guru, up in the mountains in a cave... For 10 days he will sit and fast and meditate- I can not even imagine...He owns a couple of pieces of land on these mountains as he has been raised here and brought me up to the foundation he has laid for a huge new yoga centre on top of these mountains- Let me tell you it really takes only special people to climb and reach it--- It is a rough 2 hour trek up there and you gotta be fit among other things!! I was breathless, speechless... sucking air in hard in disbelief at the view and the climb and the type of person who can achieve these heights and practice yoga and know the peace that exists up there and within... Hari is like this benevolent king that everyone in the community knows and deeply respects. They all embrace him and want to give things to him. They all come to help him and he has achieved his status by his kindness, and love and spiritual significance in the community. Hari has proven to be a really great teacher and friend... the connections I have made with people- invite me to come back and enjoy things for half price if not free--
anybody up for a trip to India to do some yoga and sip Chai?
I am however ready for a change...
Tomorrow I am taking a 12 hour bus further north into a city named Manali- deeper into the Himalayas...
It turns out that even though Hari is gone, his best friend that he grew up with mentioned today he has been wanting to get away to hike as well-- and so as fate would have it- I am heading up there with a friend....
I have now figured out a strategy for dealing with the numerous beggars that pull on you on the streets-
They are not your ordinary beggars-
and a cruel American made street rat baseball game is nothing I could ever imagine ok to play with them...
Its like they are beggars who know that its part of their fated caste position-- and so an acceptance of their position and begging as a means for everything makes them an interesting bunch for the way they ask you, move their hands to their mouths, cling on you -
My strategy is that-- I talk to them, say a namaste and listen to what they ask for-- and if they are soo persistant and I haven't given to anyone that day yet- every day I buy a fruit for at least one of the regulars I see, with enough space in between so they won't fully remember me- or at least leave me alone for a while until they forget me... sometimes I have to ignore them, but there is a time to lsiten to them, becasue their request is reasonable and only costs you dime... milk for their baby, a fruit, some bandages...
Every year on his birthday Hari takes a beggar and buys him everything he needs- .. otherwise Hari is always buying them new bandages for their gangreening limbs and buying them fruit or flipping a coin at them... but you really can't give to all - but for some reason they don't stress me out as much as the beggars in Cambodia....
In Cambodia I felt extreme pain and need coming from the people and the children and it hurt so much I'd cry alone about it often. - But here - its like they do get what they need somehow- as it is their occupation to beg and they are not aspiring for too much more than their caste permits...
One clever young boy with good manners in Dehli told me he liked my shoes. Then asked me if I wanted some Chai= ofcourse I knew I was paying but why not - no harm in hearing his story, his energy sparked my interest... Then we start talking- my ears are waiting for the punchline- the boy wants me to buy him a dictionary... he speaks quite eloquently and burns with curiousity- genuine intelligent questions - I took a liking to him- we talked for an hour and then he told me that he needs an English dictionary...being a school teacher and a softy--- I walked over to the bookstore, bought the book for 5 dollars and then sat him down--
I said "ok kid-
you are quite clever, and you will go very far --but now tell me why should I give you this book when you will go sell it back for the money- what is it you really need?"
Politely he said," no Mam, that I would never do- for me that is bad karma"--
I agreed and gave it to him-- ONLY after I totally defaced the book, tore the cover off and painted it with artwork - I personalized it and now the kid owns an unsellable dictionary whether he intended to use it or not- he'll use it or not but the experience I don't think he'll soon forget...
so what else...
Well today was nice....The Tibetans and Indians don't understand each other really yet they have to coexist- BUT they don't intermingle unless they HAVE to...BUT today I had my Indian friend meet my Tibetan friend and we hung out together and it felt good- because I have heard both sides talking shit about the other - misconceptions and walls for intentional ignorance of the other sides need to break around here-
I am growing too sleepy--- write more from Manali---
Much love and peace to all-- hope you all are wellllllllllllll...
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| UpDate from La India.... |
| 05.03.04 (7:25 am) [edit] |
Hellloooo out there.
So Yes I am staying in India for a month.
This is soo crazy....
Right now I am in Dharamsala, Northern India.. the name of the actual city is called McLeod Ganj. I have changed guesthouses many times but I now live in a place called the Hotel Lotus Leaf on Jogibara Rd.
My little room gives me the most beautiful view of the little Himalayas and all the little villages cropping up in the mountains… In my old place I didn't have a bathroom and I have to walk 3 floors down to a rickety one that offers bone cracking cold showers and its pretty cold up in these mountains, but I just remedy that by, eww- not showering too often.
I got a better place for a dollar more! Now I pay 3 dollars a night I have the most breathtaking view of the mountians with snow at the top.
My DAYsssss
I wake up and do yoga on the school's roof top watching the mountains every day at 7 or 9 in the morning.
Then I get some lunch and read or write a little.
Then I hike up the mountains with one of my friends
IT is soooo hard to hike up these mountains- everywhere you go you are walking up steep mountains - It makes you feel so alive!!- its a surprise the cars make it up but they do!!.. They make their houses out of this sliver stone cut out of the mountains.
I have met many goodhearted people.
Today I hiked to the Dalai Lama's Buddhist temple in the morning with a Tibetan friend-- Then ate lunch and then hiked to the top of the mountain to a Hindu temple-
I went the highest I have ever been and the view from up their was beautiful--We played with goats that live in the mountain and they have restaurants all up the mountains for you to drink this great sweet tea called Chai or water or food. Then you keep going up and up...
Today I also went to this beautiful waterfall in Bagksu.
So I hike the mountains and sip tea and get exercise all day- then I go back by my hotel and down the street and sleep so nicely...
I am teaching English to a lovely Tibetan woman named Llamu Dolma, which means gold in Tibetan, and I am learning Tibetan language from this broad face pure soul and pure hearted innocent Tibetan boy I met at the Momo Cafeי named Tenzen Tashi which means "Oceans of Love" he exhaled sweetly to me the day I met him.
What an interesting language, listen to just the meaning of the names and you might see why…
I soon enough found an amazing Reiki Master to teach me the art of positive energy love healing through the palms of my very hands- and YOGA
As always I send all of you this knowledge and love and peace, for you all are me, me you, as I animate your spirits and what you have taught me and mean to me each second. Thank you.
Email is crazy slow and I have been far away from such things lately…
My Reiki Master’s name is Hari Rishi. He has incredible spiritual power and has taught me many things, slowly…as I can not relate all the details of the intense experiences I have been having- the reason why he is teaching me slowly is the same reason why I can come only close to explaining some of what has been happening to me by asking you to recall what happens when you try to look at the midday sun…
Many things here I hope I can soon sit and tell you slowly often give me this something out of my seat, almost unnerving yet harmless and necessary flutter in my chest – a feeling like a Could this be? blindness yet seeing a glimpse of all while looking into the lights manifest in the people and things around me. So what up people? Sorry for all this deep shit, oh you know me. Its still me…
I am still teaching, my passion, I am still hiking in nature, another, I am still chilling out with Spaniards, people from all over the world and practicing my mother’s native tongue as well as other languages- and laughing and loving and keeping my head and my shit together feet on the ground, just growing roots deeper into is all ….aight!!!
My teacher Hari has brought me to visit his family and they are such nice people. I helped them cook fresh Indian bread called chipati on an open fireplace that reminded me of PA and my beautiful family. Even though I don’t understand Hindi, I understood when they laughed at me for my lack of chipati rolling skills, and I am learning some Hindi and some sanskrit which is very difficult and slow going- but a great exchange for my teaching English, you know. Hari has showed me the great face Westerners often can not see on the Indian people, by showing me family life and introducing me to his friends who work around here. no other words for now- I am speechlesssss............
For now I have to run more later!!
Much love and peace to you all! Andrea
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| Free TIBET... |
| 04.26.04 (3:48 am) [edit] |
I parted with Gil so peacefully and with much love, knowing that we both had been blessed with each other and needed to move on to other things...
He was a great introduction to what India is to me and how it is me and how it works , how I work...how this place is powerful and will reveal things about all of that , things I thought were only dream games I play in my mind... but now its all becoming and true...
WOULD you be surpised that it took me from 4:30 pm until 7 oclock am the next day to finally get from Dehli to Dharamsala?... I took a bus with other foreigners that was supposed to only be 12 hours long but ofcourse, - NEver have expectations of what things will be like !
DRAMA #1:
I get my all my bags to where the bus is, some blocks and blocks away and the Indian worker for the bus tries to charge us 10 rupies each = about a quarter for putting out bags in the trunk! I Totally refused and everyone stood there arguing and screaming at the Indian company for trying to rip us off. The people from Israel were the most vocal, and the Indian guy would NOT put our bags in the trunk without pay- when its his DAMN job and we already paid a tourist price for our ride! So then he makes some Japanese guys, who are peaceful and just wanted to get going, climb the ladder all the way to the roof of the tall bus to put their own bags on the roof if they didn;t want to pay for trunk space!! What bullshit. And we are all screaming that we will call their boss and that is bullshit and we won't pay and he's refusing and laughing at us- like a big fuck you greedy tourists, what's a quarter to each of you- but a quarter to him from each is a whole month's salary so - give it up!... leave at 5 o'clock bus, WHAT? yeah right- try 6:30 by the time the Indian guy gives in from our great protest and our bags get in - although now we are worried they will do something with them while we travel...
DRAMA#2
We are on our way YEAH! ok seats. Grab mine in the back and met these four really cool Spaniards. I heard them talking it up and broke into their little circle quickly feeling so at home and so excited to be surrounded by the language, the attitude, the way ...
So its Lisa, Sol, Jordi, and Maria.
Jordi, 25, from Barcelona, doesn't speak a word of English- test, test, long haired blue eyed hippie looking dude who is a merchant (street seller) of artwork, clothes, and other beautiful things from around the world.
Sol, is 33 very beautiful and strong, also a merchant (street seller) from the country on the northern coast..she also does a lot of Henna art (fading tattoes) - as she has displayed all over her body, which she is teaching me to do.
Lisa is from England but thinks she's from Spain she says she is a Spaniard but is quite white in appearance, and a nice lady.
And Maria, also a street seller - another strong Spansih woman 33 ish long hair, beautiful, very open minded and down to earth - cool people... its nice to learn about their culture...
So to the drama part- well I bet you would believe that they scammed us further by shoving us all into a smaller bus than we were supposed to have and that left 2 paying customers without a seat ! They tried to shove 5 people in the long back seat with the 4 Spaniards but they WERE NOT having it. And the Israelis started screaming and getting into it- a huge mess. The 2 monks on the bus were just silent and watchful the whole time.. Hence another half hour of arguing here and also at the next stop we make about a half hour outside of Dehli when others get on the bus- who paid- yet now have no seat... oh Beautiful India businessss
Drama #2
The Spaniards are awesome. Throughout the whole journey we chat it up and laugh ... at some points we try to sleep but its hard to sleep in the back of the bus with all the crazy bumps... One guy from the UK, 36ish, in the front took some bad pills and was high on something and we had to stop for him a couple times and at one point people carried him to have his own 2 seats because he was so spaced out and about to faint or something.. These Tibetan men on the bus were so strong, and cared for him so well, my first introduction to a culture I would fall in love with.
DRAMA#3
We stop almost every hour- so the driver can get a cut of the money the vendors make on the tourists- what odd people and faces we encounter on the radd- always hassling you to buy drinks something anything- even after you screamed NO the 20th time, no joke.
So now its dark out and we all keep wondering why we keep stopping and the trunk where the bags are keeps getting opened...? While we are all half asleep- my stuff ended up safe, my bags fully fully locked - I wonder how everyone else made out... shady business...
The Spaniards are stir crazy... they have been vibrating and bumping their heads for hours!- the whole time from the bumpy ride and they are giddy and laughing and trying to put a good face on what could otherwise be an annoying experience..how fun-, I lobve people like that! I know that spirit! They are actually quite hysterical from all the shaking and its so hilarious.
[b]The Foothills of the Himalayas[/b]
The drama is over -- day breaks and we hit the foothills of the Himilayas like breaking into some dream some dream - as we are all very worn and in a meditative sleepy state- We watch in awe, speechless the sun rising over the snowcapped mountains that are just little foothills - just a glimpse of the power and beauty of nature of the immense Himalaya Mountains... darkskinned Indian Santa Claus looking men in bright robes hike the mountain roads with carved walking sticks at early dawn, chickens and birds stir all over, the "untouchables" as are called the lowest class of Indians in the caste system, darkfaced, torn saris ( Indian dresses/robes), children slung on their backs and waists, and footless handless toothless men lurk about... and the beautiful faces of the old Tibetan women and men - there is something so bright in their eyes - like there is something they have seen, that they know and they can't but help even carry their knowing of truht and all that is pure and true in their eyes...
Later that day when I finally get to meet and speak with Tibetans I trutly get to see why their ways create those eyes of the Tibetan.
I end up rooming with Jordi when we arrive. We have breakfast and nap.
I wake up 2- to not miss a thing.
I wander around a little to get acquainted with the area.
A large parade of Tibetan youth color the streets with huge signs, screaming Free Tibet! and Free the Lama! As it turns out -- China has stolen a 6 year old Tibetan boy- who was a Lama- which means he is in the Lama family- a spiritual Buddhist light, Lamas, like the Dalai Lama, the eldest Lama, are the closest things to Buddha walking on earth. So Communist China stole the little Lama 6 years old, and no one knows where he is. These people are stripped of their land and have been pushed around and abused by China for many years because they want to become independent country from China. They ARE a different more spiritual people and I don't think China can handle that - and so The highest Buddhist light - the Dalai Lama - had to walk over the Himalayas miles and miles to escape China from killing him off- WHY would they want to kill a man who is the ultimate Buddhist, stands for peace and love and compassion in every way I will NEVER know. And the people here are struggling to gain the land back that is rightfully theirs, and to gain freedom to be full Buddhists and free from communist China's sick ways...
I also found a Reiki Master and talk with him for an hour about Reiki and his teachings. I may take yoga with him as well. He's a great man. He has a strong presence, at peace, and glowing dark Indian skin- which is unlike the Tibetans who partly look Chinese but are a total thing of their own- no doubt.
I ate my dinner at Chuyki's. The 2 young Tibetan cuties that work there sat down with me and ate their meals they worked for. I ended up staying the night until 1 in the morning speaking, smoking, laughing, dancing with the Tibetans. An older Tibetan man sat down at the table too. The young Tibetan named Karma ( what a name!) said the older man was "The Doctor" of the community, he's a powerful man- with a great wealth of knowledge. I had deep conversations with him about his work and mine. He's actually The Tibetan Youth counselor for drug addictions, and HIV mostly...he has traveled the world working for 14 years and now resettled with his people. His work and his life story was astonishing... we went back and forth about the world its problems, its causes, Buddhism, spirituality, everything for hours...
All of this another one of those extremely meaningful powerful experiences that carry with it special divine messages I am so smiling about the whole time in a state of bliss even though we at times talk about the more sad issues about the hell our planet is going through- all mostly on the cause of the US, or atleast as their stupid macho "we are such superpower rulers of the earth" attitude and pushiness and greed tends to reflect.... but usually always does get into the mix of being the ultimate cause- or atleast no help to the worlds biggest problems as we destroy our planet- by having the taboccao, leaky Oil, and Pharmaceuitcal Corporations in complete control of everything due to their great wealth fed by corruption of fucking people over just to make the million dollar white men make another million...
I have now moved to my own room at the Yellow Guest House. There's a beautiful view of the mountains and the villagers below right out of my door, right from my window of my small room...
and I am contemplating staying here one month.
I will be teaching some Tibetan refugees English at the Youth Center and Karma also wants me to teach him everyday and he said I could get free meals at the restaurant if I do. What better way to learn about a people. When teaching is less work for me and more love- what better way could I spend my hours here than exchanging with this beautiful Buddhist community?
Many things are waiting just around the corner and its all so exciting and uplifting...
much love and peace to you all, Hope you are well! Let me know how things go.... Andrea...
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| India'sunandmoon.......... |
| 04.24.04 (3:48 am) [edit] |
I am on my way to Dharamsala tonight...
Can I truly express my experiences thus far with words...
I used to have faith and a love for words, but their power is nothing now in the face of the new language of energy that I have realized, which I just can't even begin to reveal to you.
I have been spending almost all of my time learning from and teaching Gil. He is the brightest light I have ever met in my whole life. We eat our meals together and consume each other and exchange mostly in silence and everything is understood with out words...
Words are puzzle pieces we throw at each other on the park bench as the night falls and the sliver of a moon becomes the hole of light that marks the climbing we have tried and the little breakthrough we have made to the other side of truth, and the puzzle pieces we have put together only seem to create the picture- the illusion of the life swarming around us...
the dirty children begging and pulling on our arms as we sit forced to pretend blindness but with very aware feelings of their presence... The young shoeshine/repair boys hassling for repairing shoes that they can do nothing for, women in saries lying around the park on their long dresses with their men sprawled out all over...odd dark faces, always trying to pull you somewhere, men trying to sell you one of the randomest things like a pen or sunglasses, useless weird things and only one of them?
We sit in the small plot of green park amidst the constant blaring of the car and rickshaw and and motos and tuk-tuk horns making every sick sound possible into a thick symphony because no driver uses their mirrors and the streets are chaos.... with shouts and horns and moos and ...there are other sounds... like this special drum that vibrates like the ommmm original vibration of life low and deep beneath it all right next to silence... and there's the twisting and easing of the Indian music winding its way up and around street corners and into you....its often too much to take in which is why it spills all around everywhere chaos...
In between our silence Gil relays an idea about India that I can't get out of my head... It is interesting how here heaven can be hell and hell can be heaven at the same time when you see things and when you look into them...
I feel something inside me growing so deeply ... this is so intense...
After Gil and I spit our puzzle piece words at each other to describe our Ways, I felt his bright light and his knowledge of the truth so hardcore - so bright and beautiful and powerful and true it had too much room enough for a coldness and a sadness and a hopelessness inside of it I had never felt coming from light before... it sucked out my innocence and made me empty not knowing what to fill that place with -....
We walked engulfed in more throwing of puzzle pieces that created more of the illusions we use to get at truth the sun's reflection on the sliver, crescent moon illuminated more by the darkness falling to shroud it....we walked in circles and circles with the original idea that we were searching for food, but Since I have been in India I have been living on love and light and knowledge and polluted air more than anything I can physically consume. Our circles and circles reflected our conversation so much we finally could walk no longer... and stopped for a rest....
I think I need more time here, but I don't know how to make that work and if what I think I need is what is part of what is becoming....
We took a tuk-tuk 45 minutes outside of Parganj to the richer neighborhood's cinema that was playing a movie Gil was told to see. It is called "The Butterfly Effect."
If you see this movie and you understand the spiritual power of India and the people that live here and how the foreigners who come here change so deeply and intensely spiritually it appears their eyes are floating whether they know it or not- then you might beable to understand how effected Gil was by this movie, and the moment, and the knowledge it gave to the both of us about us - and not us- the whole universe... he couldn't even touch me or look at me for a while and tears welled up in his eyes... and I knew all about it...
and it put a spin on the circles and circles we walked and talked all day long....
the little pieces Gil related to me all day somehow made the picture illusion dayGLOw that only struggled to imitate the light and truth through the crescent moon nail gripping on the sky we had made earlier....
maybe someday we completely climb through...
running to Dharamsala...
......much love and peace and love to you all....
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| deeper into BE-ing .... |
| 04.23.04 (3:02 am) [edit] |
Helllo people...
I am going to try something new here. Its called being on time and up with the times and living in the present instead of living in candyland and shit. I am not entering Laos as my last blog stated- dated ONE MONTH AGO. I have actually been through Laos and Cambodia and back to Thailand and out now into India! (I may try to recapture some of the stories from Laos and Cambodia that I caught in my paper journal) BUT for now its time to live in the PRESENT.
I left Karen and Brett on a bad note. It hurts to know that I am able to blindly hurt someone I love so much by floating around and not being practical and communicative. It being an unintentional, unconscious thing -that I am often often late and holding them up- is no defense for the lack of consideration for others that comes attached with it. I know it distracts me from my own ideals at times and I guess I needed to see how detrimental it can be firsthand - Even though I tried to repair it throughout the trip- at the end of the trip I flaked and flaked again. I am too many contradictions that I am trying to balance.
I left Thailand in a rush with a pain heaving in my chest about how time slips out from under my feet and I hurt my friends... Much props to people who can stay together on one path, becasue when we signed up to travel together - we didn't realize what we were getting ourselves into- this crazy acid trip with downs and lows and surreal visions of the foreign worlds that are actually MATERIAL - and then navigating them and balancing out 3 different energies and needed messages for our individual paths - always pulling me out of wack with the 2 energies that have made their paths one in many ways...
I arrived at the airport 2 hours too early, kicking myself because I could have made our ending time better and more reflective of the real love I have for my friends... I guess I can serve noone more than myself right now and so its good to be alone so that I am the only one left to hurt by my actions and lack thereof....
Into India....
I am now in India. I arrived in Dehli this morning at 5 and it took me 4 hours to get into Parganj, where I live at the Bright Guest House. Because no system is logical and smooth and easy in India, I spent my first 4 hours getting through the airport, waiting on a crazy long line shoving to the windowto get a prepaid taxi voucher and then a taxi, then finally driving out through the garbage eating cows and shit infested, and rickshaw and trinket cart and stall seller ridden streets to get to the Bright House. Its quite colorful here, and if you don't watch where you step at every second you might get some of that color on you... a rickshaw to the gut oblack and blue or the worst color to pick up is brown and moo gooey on your shoes...
While at the airport, in a sleepy haze, waiting for my plane at 2 am, I saw this Jesus looking dude pass by me and I said to myself "What's up Jesus." A little later he ended up having a seat next to me on the plane and we talked as if we have known each other for centuries... as he says we do.
This visionary Israeli Jesus character named Gil Solomon has been here many times and there's something deep and soft in his eyes that we discussed is also reflected in my eyes too. We decided to share a room and pass the time together for a while. Most of the time we have sat in silence and can understand each other deeply by speaking a language without words when we look into each others eyes - its a language I always said I wanted to invent and its one that he has shown me is possible for he is fluent in it also...wow.... I said India was for me alone and then fate sends me a nomad meditative Jesus to look after me... so odd! But even odder is how every moment I can unravel a divine message about my path... it all fits in ....
So I hear the Dalai Lama is in Canada and then the US. Ironically I come in part to see him and he's in my hometown. I spoke to my Reiki Master's Tibetan monk friend, Kuun Cho on the phone this morning and he says The Dalai Lama may be back in time for me to see him... I think i will spend one more day in Dehli so that Gil and I can visit the Bahai Temple and then leave for my 12 hour bus ride up north....
We'll see how things fall into place....
as they are....
much love and peace to you all... Andrea
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| HAVE YOU EVER...? |
| 04.12.04 (4:42 am) [edit] |
LAOS.... March 20thish
So we're off to Chang Khong Thailand border city and we meet some cool guys from Amsterdam on the bus who we end up traveling with through Laos for a little while...
The Mekong carves the border between Chang Khong, Thailand and HouieXay, Laos and our guest house sits right off the Mekong.
I know I will get more intimate with the Mekong starting the next day as it will be my main way of getting through Laos and Cambodia.
How exciting!! - this river has got some intense spiritual ties, you know, flowing from Tibet and feeding the people with Buddhism and trade for ages gathering along this lifeline.
When I was in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia I went to an excellent watercolor exhibit by Chang Fee Ming in the Petronas Twin Towers and he painted inspiring images of what I am anxiously waiting to see...
We chill with the Dutch guys for the night and discuss our travel plans, our most embarrasing moments in life- that I am debating whether I will devulge here or not--
OK OK --
I won't name names but I'll let you know some of the topics of conversations..:
OK Now
HAVE YOU EVER been so drunk that you started to pee in the wrong place in front of too many people, and parents, totally naked with your hands behind your head, watering the lawn as if you were a human sprinkler?
HAVE YOU EVER had an intense sex fest all over public places of your shared apartment thinking you were alone, only to find out a day later that your roomate was there the whole time, waiting to attend church -but too embarrassed or grossed out to come out of her room and leave?
HAVE YOU EVER been so constipated that you pushed too hard and out came not what you so hoped and sweated for but instead- the pink inner lining of your asshole, called pink sock, which you had to get a gloved nurse to reinsert...ouch?
When you tell these stories a certain type of bonding occurs... wow...
The stories could continue. These boys were fun, and so are we.... tomorrow we hit the Mekong in a speedboat together and more adventures unfold...
peace and love to you for now... Andrea
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| Happy Easter...!! |
| 04.11.04 (9:25 am) [edit] |
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Oh yeah you guys--- Happy Easter....hop hop...=:) =:) =:)....
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| CLICK YOUR MOUSE.... |
| 04.11.04 (9:21 am) [edit] |
DEar EVERYONE, PLEASE READ THIS IMPORTANT NOTICE!!
(Although its not right in line with the stories I have been writing bare with me for this one IMPORTANT blog posting)
I apologize if this is not the place to be sending postings- BUT I don't know where else to put this important information that I MUST get out to ALL....
My good friend Neal is doing peace work in Jerusalem - and is sending me these intense reports from the frontlines of his battles in Biddu Village, northwest Jerusalem. He is casually emailing his reports to a massive amount of friends BUT MORE EYES NEED TO READ WHAT IS GOING ON!! I know we could be carrying all this weight on our own, but we don't have to.
LISTEN UP!
I am emailing all of you a copy of the last story he emailed me (attached below)....AND I will keep emailing the list of people in my address book his most current stories unless you email me back and ask to be taken off the list... let me know.
AND I am asking you to let me know how we can inform as many eyes as possible of what is happening in this sick WAR.
I am not only asking for you to send his stories to everyone you know, but I am also asking you to get back to me on how we can make sure more eyes read this TRUTH perspective that MUST BE TOLD.
Reach out and let me know what can be done-- as this is the only way we can get the message out and around without money- THE LACK of money can not hold us back from listening to more than the news we get that tries to feed us lies that only tries to make us look good....
It is true that there has been many times in talking with foreigners-- as I am backpacking abroad right now- that I have been totally ashamed of saying that I am an American.
It's like "Oh, hello, you're from Hiroshima, nice to meet you. I'm from AtomBomb, I mean America", or "Hello your from Laos! Oh! Your brother has no legs? because the other day your brother stepped in a landmine the US planted on your soil, OH nice to meet you - yes I am American." etc, etc..should I go on?
People hate Americans out here- I have been battling people- Since recently I no longer take the America bashing and the sneers and the coldness from some people who ignore me after they hear where I am from -which I constantly get- And sometimes I am stirring and scraping and racking my brain against their arguments to find and show the good in it all- THEN I read Neal's stories and I think of many of your faces - and I gain some ammunition to prove the good in it all- and I will keep on non-violently fighting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now I have no clearance to get this published from the man, Neal, - but any suggestions on how to get this out to more people --other than my annoying you for a moment to get you to click your mouse - not your pussy- sorry no offense or pun intended-- to do one of those what would normally be annoying chain letters to all the people you know-- would be appreciated by more people than you know people.....
So there you have it. I have said my peace. Now hear some of Neal's below....
I send you all ...much love and respect and peace ...
Andrea Techera
( FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW--- I am a former Bostonian and NU student, HS English teacher who is teaching English and backpacking in SE Asia. Currently I'm in Phnom Pehn, Cambodia and I am utterly depressed. I just watched the movie "The Killing Fields"- I Am recovering from being a little poisoned by the undrinkable water they washed my veggies with, and have discovered yet another email from my friend Neal... As if I need more reason than my friend Neal's reports to GET TRUTH IN MOTION and do all that I can every moment towards peace respect and love....)
Allright Check this OUT.
From: Neal Ahern
To: You all....
Subject: almost arrested twice, shot again, (2)12 hour demos---ohh biddu
Date: Fri, 9 Apr 2004 08:30:33 -0700 (PDT)
hello my friends, let me start by saying that i am ok, just a little tired. Today is now friday and the demos have been the past two days. Today the army decided not to work.
So things began early on Wed morning, soldiers began working before 6am. As we were unsure when they would begin again, the early start caught everyone a little off guard. The community gathered rather quickly and we made our way to the work site. A group of five internationals led the march with most of the older palestinians just behind us. As we approached the work area and the soldiers saw us (we were probably 20 feet away from them), without warning they began to fire tear gas directly at our heads, and from many directions. One of my friends was hit in the ankle, and everyone quickly retreated.
As the soldiers had been moved to violence so quickly, stone throwing was also quickly entered into the picture. After about ten minutes it came to our awareness that the army planned to demolish a home on the hillside near the wall's proposed path. A group of about 20 internationals and israelis as well as palestinians attempted to make our way up the hillside to the house. At this point soldiers had already taken up sniper positions on four of the surrounding houses and fired gas and rubber bullets at us on our walk down the street to the base of the hill where the house was. In front of the house was a group of about 40 border policemen who were guarding the house and preventing people from approaching it. The folks inside the house had now been locked inside by the soldiers, there were four of them.
We decided to slowly walk up the hill with our hands extended in the air. As we made it maybe 40 feet up the hill, and still about 200 away from the house, my attention was focused on the large soldiers directly in front of me and pointing their guns at our bodies. No sooner than this did the snipers begin launching gas canisters from our left side, shooting at head level. As the canisters zipped by our heads and we looked to our left, the border police in front of us then began to launch gas at our peaceful crowd, and eventually people dispersed to try again. we tried five times and each had similar results.
Around 1pm the soldiers began using live ammo at a group of stone throwers, and the unmistakeable, and not often heard, crackle and pop of this ammo echoed through the entire valley and off the stone walled houses. It reminded me of a little over a month ago when people were killed by soldiers using live ammo here in biddu. This time luckily only four were hit and injured, and no one died. There were many shots fired, we inhaled a lot of gas, in the late afternoon people were let out of the home that was to be demolished, and as of friday, there has been no demolishment of the house. There were over 100 soldiers and border police, 4 bulldozers, 2 backhoes, and 3 rock drilling crane things. The soldiers got a lot of work done, and the initial work for the wall is being completed faster than i have seen it yet anywhere.
The following morning we were to sit in the olive groves to await the heavy machinery which would flatten and destroy this agricultural land this day. Unfortunately it was only myself and one other international who awoke in time---i guess others were exhausted from the 12 hour demo, the incredible stress from breathing all that tear gas, and repeatedly getting shot at with multiple types of weapons and ammo. There were over 50 injuries on wed., most from rubber bullets.
So there i was, with an older man from the states, wandering with four journalists through an olive grove of about 120 trees, all of whose branches had been completely chainsawed off. While this sight was quite disturbing unto itself, it was complicated by the reality that this is what the army does so the trees can be replanted, even though it will take another 5-7 years for the trees to flower again, and their chance of replanted survival is slim to none as the wet season of winter has already ended.
Greg and i also strolled through a good size vineyard, which would also be completely destroyed as the day went on---it makes one wonder why the wall has to snake its way through all the agricultural fields in this valley--a path quite preposterous in my opinion. While waiting for the community to arrive, and hearing what we thought to be the rumbling of bulldozers in the distance, we decided to climb the hillside to peek to the other side and see if the soldiers were coming.
Well, we got just far enough up that when the police jeeps came popping over the hill's horizon, we were two far to get back down before they came over to us. As we saw them start to drive over to us, greg and i decided to walk off the bulldozed road that's been carved into the hillside, which is when we heard the horn beeping at us which we pretended was for someone else. They quickly caught up to us, started screaming "hey, hey," and as we turned around while still inching our way down the hill, they pulled out their guns and pointed them at our faces telling us to stop moving. I of course was really bummed as i figured we were both well on our way to getting arrested and deported, and really for nothing other than a little curiosity. I debated whether or not to just turn my back, duck my head and run as fast as i could, but i figured i would rather just be arrested, than arrested and shot.....so i opted for a different tactic......negotiation.
I made up some story about being a teacher with a fictitious organization, working in a neighboring village and that greg and i were just checking out the worksite. the policeman/jerk told us we had to come with him, and we couldn't stay in biddu. at first i was thinking arrest and after telling him we lived in jerus., he told us we had to go with him and he would drive us to jerus. We pleaded that we had to teach in the school, and then he asked for our passports which i reluctantly handed to him out of fear he would just take it. Finally he sort of believed our story, and then issued this stern warning..."If I see you two at this demo today, i promise i will arrest you both using any means necessary within my power. do you understand? Now get out of here and back to your school." "Phew", i sighed, we survived, barely, and now every moment in biddu is like bonus time, and of course i stayed at the demonstration.
People were slow in arriving, and the soldiers were quick to position themselves on roofs and in the fields so as to make it basically impossible save an invisibility suit (by the way does anyone have one of these) to reach the worksite and confront the bulldozers. While this confrontation would have meant getting arrested, and probably beaten, i had decided i am now willing to take this responsibility as my time here is disappearing quickly, and i would not be alone.
We attempted, israelis, palestinian village leaders, and internationals, to walk down the small dirt street at the base of the hillside to reach the worksite. Each time we were heavily tear gassed until most people couldnt see or move, and mostly everyone was bent over coughing while more gas canisters zipped over our heads. Several times i found myself yanking my friend out of their way. Its like i said, it was impossible to reach the site.
The second time a large number of soldiers start rapidly approaching us from both sides, cutting off our escape route, so we all panicked kind of, and just ran as fast as we could past a large chicken holding barn thing, with soldiers running along its opposite side, and as we got to its back and turned around, they were pointing their guns at us and telling us to stop. during the demos, we try to buddy up, and of course my buddy must have been the slowest runner ever, i don't even know if you could call what she was doing running. I thought she would be arrested, as the soldiers had basically caught up to her, and this would have been really bad as she is both the legal support person for ism, and the person i am turning my meager responsibilities over to upon my departure. This time, unlike the morning, we took the chance the soldiers would not shoot us if we ignored their orders and ran away from them--we lucked out and escaped into the hills.
In the hills the stones began to fly in response to the tear gas and rubber bullets. There ended up being over 35 injuries for the day, many from rubber bullets. At one point we found ourselves sitting kind of out of sight and near stone throwers which seemed kind of dumb so i moved into a grassy area to be a little more visible, even though the gas was about up to my neck as i sat down. I don't think i sat their for more than two minutes before two rubber bullets went zipping by my head, one on each side, i felt them whizz by and quickly got up and moved back to my original spot, and then under a tree where there was a tire i could lounge in and reflect on my close call.
several hours later, while standing again in the olive groves, a rubber bullet came firing through, i heard it hit an olive tree leaf infront of me and then wham, it went flying into my right rib cage---guess you can't jump out of the way of all of them. I had a little mark for several hours, but again no bruising, and again, i remain one of the lucky ones. The demo ended at 5:30 with the young people and myself (playing a medic role) chased after the fleeing soldiers while inhaling more than our daily capacity of tear gas. Many were having breathing troubles who i tried to help, the gas has been very strong lately.
I had many close calls of many kinds this thursday, which partially is the way it goes here, and partially has to do with taking a greater risk of arrest, which most times doesn't actually end up in arrest, but does involve moving a little closer into areas where soldiers dont want you to be. I am figuring out still whether i would want to accrue the legal costs of trying to fight deportation, as deportation means i can't come back for ten years. I don't feel at all that i need to be arrested to prove something, i just fundamentally disagree that those with the least privileges, and the most to lose and to risk, palestinians, should be the only ones risking arrest by trying to stop an illegal wall from being built on land belonging to my friends and illegally occupied by a foreign army. I know what i would do if this were my land, if i owned any land, back on the cape. I think most wouldn't just sit back and watch it.
When confronted with the grave injustices i see daily applied collectively to all of palestinian society, i feel it is my duty to act, to interfere in this process, especially as an american who is funding some of it. When i see the soldiers just taunting the palestinian boys, swearing at them, while they shoot at them and then laugh as they seriously injure one, like it is just some kind of game to those young israeli boys armed with guns, i want to throw rocks at them, at times i want to do so much more than throw rocks at them. It is unfathomable that they think they can act this way, and they think it because they know they can get away with it, and that might be the worst part of it all.
As we remain silent as a country in our condemnation of these collective forms of violent punishment, they become bolder, attacking anyone they wish, and many times without provocation. I do not have the answers, i just know when confronted by it, when witnessing it, i can no longer stand and watch. I would do the same for any of you, and i think you know that already, and if you don't now you do, I would do it for anyone, mostly because that is what i think it takes, people stepping up, accepting their responsibility in the madness that has become the world i know, and interfering non-violently, expressing that this isnt the world any of us want to live in anymore, and that we are drawing the line. I happily, and proudly, have reached this point, i have drawn the line for myself, and while i recognize i can't stop it by myself, and i am not alone even now as i write this in these struggles, i accept my role in both the problem and the solution, and i am doing my part as i have
come to realize that part in my short life here on this planet. i love everyone dearly, and will write again soon, actually, hopefully, will speak to you all very soon. sending all my palestinian cultivated love and compassion your way, your friend, son and brother, neal
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| Pink Elephants on Parade |
| 04.10.04 (4:26 am) [edit] |
Preparing for hardcore travels....
CHANG MAI, Northern Thailand
March 14th-23rd
Asia has also brought me closer to some beautiful nature AND
I have been spending time with animals and I love it.
ONE DAY :
In Chang Mai I also went to an Elephant Training School an hour outside of the city and spent time with the elephants AGAIN! This time they were treated a little better. I hung out with and fed babies and preganant ones- all aged elephants. I fed them sugar cane and bananas. They bathed in the lake and put on a little show.
The pregnant ma was having her first baby. They usually have 5 in their lives, 100kg at birth!- she was sweet. The Mahout tribe men get one elephant to watch for their whole life and they become really close! You should've seen how the elephant played with and loved up her trainer.
The Royal Elephants of Thailand- the King's Elephants are kept at this location- but noone can see them- They are strictly for the king- He gets the pink ones with white hairs!! ( no i didn't see them on parade unfortunately...)
I saw how they made paper from elephant shit- crazy! and how they make fuel from it as well.
I am so happy that I got to spend time with them again. In Krabi when Amanda and I rode them- i knew that they were being used and possibly abused. Here I felt that they were healthy and treated fairly. ..
There were also sick elephants here too because this place had a hospital. Some of the elephants had their feet blown up by landmines on the Burmese border planted by the good old USA. real nice huh? Such sadness! The things we do to others and no one knows, because they don't teach us the truth of what Americans do to others. The elephants were angry and I couldn't get close to the sick ones. Some had skin diseases. One baby fell down the mountain.
My favorite was baby sunshine and her ma moonshine. You'll see the pics soon enough...
Chang Mai was great. We had some AWESOME Mexican food and BAGELS!! Oh how we miss the little things!! Like GINGER ALE!! ahh! I miss it! I'll make the miss list soon! Its pretty damn long! Back to why Chang Mai was great-I chilled with monkeys and elephants. Did my Reiki course and learned how to energy heal and channel. Learned how to cook delicious Thai food. Visited some great wats. Spoke with some monks. Shopped for some awesome art work- such beautiful treasures!! All of it. Getting ready for the hardcore- as we have heard things are not as organized in Laos, and Cambodia even less....and soooo
here we come!
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| Energy Healing in Chang Mai |
| 04.10.04 (4:19 am) [edit] |
To prepare for our hardcore travels....
CHANG MAI, Northern Thailand
March 14th-23rd
I took a Reiki course with this New Zealand lady named Caroline Usher and I will never be the same again. Please!! look up some info on Reiki to understand me further. It's beautiful. I did the first course in Chang Mai and I will do the second course in Dharamsala, Northern India- where the Dalai Lama lives...
Reiki is a beautiful thing and I am blessed that it fell into my hands-
Even though I feel as if I have been doing love, positive energy healing, and connecting strongly and intimately with the universal life force all of my life, now I know how, and solid details, and how to channel energy and heal myself and others....
The first minute I met Caroline she started talking about how she does Reiki healing on a sad caged monkey that the locals have in their courtyard nearby. She brought me to his cage on her motobike and that was how I met Lucky. He's a beautiful 2 foot tall black monkey. His arms were so long! And his little hands and feet so smooth and soft - just like ours- i swear- just longer...He was soo sad. It was depressing to see him. We fed him some carrot juice and and gave him Reiki and he stared back at us with his dribbly orange carrot juice beard. the locals saved him when his mom got shot- but he's pretty traumatized from seeing his mom die like that. They want to keep him there but he is too lonely and should be elsewhere- they don't love him like he needs to be loved.
My 2 sessions with Caroline have opened me up to a whole new world of energy and healing. It will help me infinitely.
This Asia Odyssey has been such a spiritual journey. Everyhting about it has helped me grwo spiritually, metally , physically-- rapidly but right in time and in line with my proper evolution. Asia is such a beautiful spiritual place - I can't believe all of the things I have seen and felt and learned on these levels.... makes me speechless, although most of what you need is the silence behind it all anyway... so ....
hope all is well with you all... i send you much love and peace always as i gather some extra out here in Asia....
Love, Andrea
I went to an Elephant Training School an hour outside of the city and spent time with the elephants AGAIN! This time
I took a Reiki course with this New Zealand lady named Caroline Usher and I will never be the same again. I did the first course here and I will do the second course in Dharamsala, India. Reiki is a beautiful thing and I am blessed that it fell into my hands-
Even though I feel as if I have been doing love, positive energy healing, and connecting strongly and intimately with the universal life force all of my life, now I know how, and the solid details, and how to channel energy and heal myself and others....
The first minute I met Caroline she started talking about how she does Reiki healing on a sad caged monkey that the locals have in their courtyard nearby. She brought me to his cage on her motobike and that was how I met Lucky. He's a beautiful 2 foot tall black monkey. His arms were so long! And his little hands, nails, and feet so smooth and pure black...just like ours- i swear- just longer...He was soo sad. It was depressing to see him. We fed him some carrot juice and and gave him Reiki and he stared back at us in pain with a carrot juice beard dribbling. I went to see him with K and B one more time before I left but he was NOT recepetive. He was screaming and crying and swinging around his cage. So lonely, maybe calling for another monkey.
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| Preparing for Hardcore Travels.... |
| 04.10.04 (4:10 am) [edit] |
CHANG MAI, Northern Thailand
March 14th-23rd
After Bangkok-
we moved right on up into northern Thailand to a city called Chang Mai.
There was soo much peace there- its undescribable. There is a beautiful wat on almost every street block and let me tell you that does something to the AIR...
and that's what I breathe - so there...
You may recall my "Watering the Buddha"- Holy Shit! story. Well, that little story took place in Chang Mai.
Here is the first time I got to speak with monks. I think i told you about the 2 we talked with. The Magic Trick Monk and the Inhaley Laugh Monk. With all of these wats its like - monks every everywhere... monks on bicycles, monks with umbrellas,monks playing chess, monks buying toothpaste, monks smoking cigarettes...hmmm?
Wonder what the deal with THAT is!? .... Young children monks sweeping and painting and building up the temple grounds... Its so nice to be surrounded by Buddhists.
We had a clean, large room- out of the smog and rough room in Bangkok. I spent some nice time recollecting before heading into hardcore travels in hard countries like Laos and Cambodia.
To prepare for our hardcore travels....
ONE DAY: We took a Thai Cooking Course!
Yeah OK- don't laugh- Andrea in the kitchen is funny! But it was so cool- i absolutely love Thai food. It was an Organic Farm Cooking School. First they took us to the market. DON'T be afraid when i show you the Thai food market pictures. They had some ODD specimens for sale. Fetal calves - umbilical cord and all for stew, all the bugs you could eat, and don't forget the ant eggs- which i found out is the special ingredient in the curry! and no more curry for me from that day on! just wait for the pictures!ahhh....
So anyway we bought coconut milk and rice for the meals we would learn to prepare.
They took us next to this huge beautiful organic farm, where we picked our own vegetables and herbs that we would cook with. Learned about them - so awesome! It was such a beautiful day and the school was very organized and natural. I can not wait to have a garden.
We made:
Papaya Salad
Red Curry Vegies and Chicken
pounding away mortar and pestel to make the sauces - HOT HOT chilies...
then stopped to eat what we made.
After lunch:
Steamed Banana wrapped in StickyRice and Coconut Milk
Fish Cakes
and ofcourse Pad Thai
It took a ll day long and was fulfilling - and tired us...
We slept and chilled afterward....more to come in Chang Mai!
Peace and love to you... Andrea
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| can't let it all slip by! |
| 04.10.04 (3:30 am) [edit] |
Helllooooo everyone!
slowly but surely trying to close the gap of time between now and that which I have fully reflected on from the past... So much absorption- need to make more time for reflection and so here it goess.....
SO Moving out of Krabi, March 10th-
I spent an extra day in Krabi to do a free climb with one of the rasta Thai instructors Teak- who could pass that up? - while the Boston crew traveled up to Bangkok. I did the Asian Wall this time. After having done the Daimond Cave Wall, which was the huge mountain that towered our bungalows, this wall was not too difficult-- although the night before I only got like 4 hours of sleep and I was a little bit of a weakling.
Teak is sweet. We traded stories and I watched hummingbirds and dragonflies and dreamed about what lies inside the cave holes in the rock above me laying on my back breathing heavy in between climbs... magic shit. Teak took me out on his day off how sweet he is!-- unlike Toby, another instructor that took a liking to me and we hung out -BUT- he turned out to be an ignorant fool!- misunderstood me and disrespected me- BUT I guess no real harm done and just another lesson to learn.
The bad situation with Toby put a headache in me -I even wore on my face all the way up to Bangkok. We traveled around the city shopping and visiting some really beautiful wats/temples.
We got an amazzing massage at Wat Po, where this huge massive reclining Buddha resides. I'll be sending along pics of these wats right up soon- and my stresed face--ha! I got this herbal steam bag rubbed all over me and walked around the city for the rest of the day tinted in yellow dust. Massaged my headache clear away...
Went CRAZY Shopping at the weekend market- Largest outdoor market in the world! Sent many beautiful things home and then got ready to head north....
Erin and Zac headed home and we were off into the north....
OK WAIT.
This shit is CRAZY. Can I just tell you? Man, do you even know that A WHOLE COUNTRY has passed me by since I have last written? I haven't even mentioned Laos and right now I am already in Cambodia. In less than 2 weeks I will be in India! So I have to get cracking on my accounts because too much shit happens in a day- I can't let it all slip by!
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| Helloo from Cambodia!!! |
| 04.06.04 (6:12 am) [edit] |
Helllloo People.
I have just arrived in Cambodia and wanted to let you know that I am safe and well. They say I can't access my hotmail account, I don't think its in all of Cambodia- but I will soon find out. I will be in touch- somehow- there's no internaional calls from here either! In 4-5 days I will be moving into the capital Phonom Phen and they should have calls and hotmail. Till then I will blog. More stories later...
much love and peace to you. Andrea
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| More adventures in Krabi |
| 03.30.04 (5:52 am) [edit] |
More AdvVEnTures in Krabi....
DAY 8
The Princess Cave Beach becomes my favorite beach by day. Go past the 123 Climbing Wall down a monkey-ridden path that opens up to the Princess Beach. Stare in awe of the rock formations- like millions of roots and sinews and veins and such tangling shooting up and down hanging, tipping up, dripping crystals - reds blues browns grays greens... all around you hanging above you as you float on your back and imagine you are being born again like limestone in motion, just in imitation of the frozen growth the shoreline hails about you. Hundreds of all different sized wooden penises that fisherman have carved for good luck in the sea sit all around in the nooks of the caves by this beach. The penises are dressed in colored scarves and are surrounded by candles, jasmine flowers and the like..
PRincess Sri Guladevi's ship wrecked off of the shore of this beach and her soul, fed by the wisdom and power of many past lives, to this day brings good luck to those who notice and visit her. The overhangs of what they call her summer home there are incredible, stalactites imitating the seed planting the wooden phali wish they could achieve as well...I bouy on the rolling emerald- jade water and stare for long times at the guts, a beautiful little blue pterodactyl head-shaped bird visits one of the drippy stalactites and we ask the Princess to stay longer...
There are other places where the Princess is supposed to inhabit. We did a small upclimb to try to reach one of her dwellings - The Princess Lagoon. Amanda, Erin, and Zac got a very very little taste of the type of crazy untamed jungle climbs we have been through in Malaysia.They saw the Achilles tendon tree that loves to make us look like less than ants. We had to go through a steep rope guided orange mudslidey way and some fears surfaced to be dealt with..
Even in the littlest thing your fears emerge. Your comfort zones and your dependency on them arise so much out here. -- And the best and worst of people's weaknesses and strengths must be faced physically at these moments. And our mental wall games are challenged--and we learn the walls we erect that try to fortify fear and justify old habits might not be as great as the gold bricks we lay our walls with-especially when we see we've laid walls in places where perhaps we should have made door and window frames....
more on the princess caves later.. gotta run...
Much love and peace ... Andrea
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| The full moooon and the elephants.... |
| 03.30.04 (5:18 am) [edit] |
DAY 5 -6 In Krabi
One of the biggest things on my list of things I must do in this life is :
Hang out with elephants.
Erin and Zac bail out on doing this, Karen and Bret already did it before, so they bail. Good thing Amanda was down because for when I am close to achieving those things on my list - I shouldn't and can't alter my plans for anyone...
Soo, my birthday wish come true a little late!.....
I finally spend some time with the elephants.
Amanda and I set out and ride on elephants backs through the jungle. We actually get to ride on their heads!
Their gray and pink spotted skin is so thick and tough. Their sags of rolly, wrinkly hard skin and thick broom bristle black hairs rub our legs as we ride their heads the way the natives do. The natives walk around all over the elephants barefoot like the elephants are the earth. How much of our weight do they feel?-- little ants picking at them, which explains the constant nervous whipping of their ears and broom tails to shooo insects and maybe even us away. And under all of those folds of gray flesh are those soft sweet brown eyes of the animal very knowing, yet kind of curious and mysterious. I stood too close to them while feeding them cucumbers and bananas and the native guide has to remind me that I think they are too friendly! After, we walk them to cool off and bathe in the stream.
The villagers nearby are hard at work, scrapping bamboo and sugarcane to make torches and green jungle juice drink for a full moon party.
The natives know sugarcane and bamboo and rubber trees and palm oil well. Our guide named Nok walked us around and showed us a stinky white glue-like sap that comes out of the rubber trees to make rubber. Somehow a golden glove session was discussed and we ended up chillin with the natives in the woods and partaking in the local greenery. They told us that they live in paradise.
I will spend more time with the elephants, these beautiful creatures, and hopefully it will be under better conditions..I mean they poke the elephants with these scary long metal hooks that seem harsh, but I never knew how tough the elephants skin is til now. I doubt they treat these elephants well after we leave though. Its pretty sad...
But I need to see reality for what it is at least once...
That night I witness the full affect of the full moon for the first time ever.
The full moon's coming on strong.
Never fully knew how much of a great change occurs ocean side. Its stirs the people. Something quite interesting fills the air. The wind is picking up blowing people and bamboo huts around- Plates, napkins, hats spinning around the large outdoor restaurants' big boats filled with ice and eenormous swordfish, baracuda, tiger shrimp, sharks- all catches of the day, that stare at you as you walk by, with half of their bodies gone on to some dinner plate. These restaurants that line the beaches at night and their staff scramble to accommodate for the hungry high tide reaching out to consume. Where we used to walk, we walk no more. The 40 feet out into the muddy mangrove tree root nests to catch a longtail boatride back to mainland is devoured by night fall.
Now we get splashed at the restaurants and wonder if this is dry season-what's the rainy season like? Then morning comes and the ocean recedes even further back than before- maybe 100 feet of shore is now walkable and visible.
It makes for an altering of the people as well.
If there's one thing I am learning- it is how difficult it can be to be independent. How to decide what you want to fill your day and life with, without being stuck doing something that brings you down and doesn't feel like the proper message to receive...its a challenge... there are many fears to conquer in being a leader and doing your own thing! And out here most of those dangers are VALID because doing it alone in a foreign place heightens the danger and possible mix up...I always thought I was independent but this shit is putting me to the ultimate tests that are more apparent out here, every day!
I make it out to a full moon party that night with Julie and her new English friends she met. We had to take a longboat to a new beach Hat Ton Sai, tucked even further in the limestone to find the party. There were about 80 foreigners and 30 Thai people mostly doped up on E or something chomping and flitting away at the techno music echoing off of caves that I swore begged me to somehow cover its ears. No goodies for me, thanks.
The only really exciting thing was when the local fire throwers showed up and showed off spinning, breathing and spitting fire. I talked to them for a while a cool tribal-looking couple from Japan. I tried not to cry when they told me they were from Hiroshima and I had to answer that I am from AtomBomb, I mean America, knowing that their grandparents if alive are still feeling it. After all this.. excitement... I soon fell fast asleep on the beautiful white sand, music unfortunately bumping, yet the moon glaring, lighting the place as if it knew day, and so bright the light loud enough to win the battle it had with the music... and so I slept, almost like in my Daimond Cave House bed with my sand colored comforter, which every night I swore I was wrapping a blanket of sand around me before I went to sleep.
To get home when I awoke at 5 in the morning was a drama. The girls and boys I was with were sloshed and they cut up their feet on the coral beds we had to climb through to get to the boat that now sat 100 feet away from normal shorline. I was fine, the beach took care of me and I didn't lose my shoes like some and I loved how the full moon time reveals the ocean's naked bottom that you'd never regularly see...
An intimacy I won't ever forget....
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| Does Privilege KNow Privilege? |
| 03.29.04 (8:43 am) [edit] |
DAY 4 in Krabi~~
We meet the Thai rasta "CliffsMan" instructors, Teak and George, at their spot on the roof, right next to the roof deck restaurant we lately come to watch news in the morning or maybe a movie at night. We get on our gear, and we set out to the 123 Wall again.
As I have said -Rockclimbing is one the greatest metaphors for life .. well, people's approaches to it also really show some things about their character- that they are everyday.
And this was us on the rock.
Erin sticks out especially in my mind becasue she did it with out a peep. No I' can't do its. No wow that's scary. No, I don't want to...just a silent longbodied crawl up and up and then finally it was over... and then we could talk about it later.
Karen and Bret no problems, no real hassle beyond first timer shit, like billy goats but sweaty ones
Amanda great for her first climb.. if time permitted she would have picked up where she left off in the battle and beef she has with that rock...
Zac, a lil experience kicked in, he rocked them all with that muppet smile still on face. Good idea Zac.
And then there's Andrea...wouldn't let the fuck up, mind-over-any-matter... and ofcourse, especially this day- it also does help to have a little pack of friends cheering you on.
5 climbs. I begin by getting up and over the 5th climb I had ended with on my first day and couldn't complete.
One more climb "A little bit higha!" that time.
Then comes the 4th I bailed out I didn't even try because of the first overhang you have to go upside down vertical to scale! Respect to Karen, Brett, ERIN and Zac for getting through that one..
Amanda and I were losing monetum. That is the worst thing you can do.. If you do one climb- you believe you can do the next if you go son enough BUT sitting and waiting puts you into the doubt swing again...
Teak set up a really baby climb to do, I did it anyway and it pumped me up for the largest one I did next....
100 feet up in the air I felt strong. My hands were wet powder flaked and slipping from crevices searching for the Way, searching for the hooks. My feet in broken toe shoes too damn tight they make them ( air conditioner - Teak calls the hole in the toe..) - its amazing how you can balance your wait on one toe leaning ona centimeter edge in the rock. But I felt smart, if that's what it takes. I felt knowing, and that is what made me push on through.
This beautiful little inlet cave 100ft up in the face of the rock cradled me at the top. What wild birds and spirits run through here I should meet... and the window frames created by the limestone had to have been planned but maybe they were not....breath returning dirty nails I dug into the sandy rocks on the ground of the cave looking for stones to bring home with me. My friends below made a bet on what I was doing up there for so long, they say crying, talking to myself etc.. and not ONE guessed right...it was a great feeling.
We all have these comfort zones.. certain privileges, certain materials, certain things that we cling onto and become dependant on so much that we are blind to the fact that they even exist anymore. We just use them in robot mode and will we maybe MALFuNCtion when without them?
Then we have these ways of resorting to our comfort zones by creating these ludicrous-often ridiculous justifications that just makes it ok for us to keep something that we don't need or that may even harm us around around.
Out here rugged, you shed those comfort zones out completely... because nothing can be expected to be there- its as silly as trying to buy a hairbrush in Laos where they only know combs OR its as serious as, will I get a body-eating bug if I brush my teeth? And although you may inject yourself into a challenge that may at first be uncomfortable....sometimes the things you learn about the universe and the breakthroughs that you make on your past and present lives really becomes worth it. What is comfort? and why was it built? The questions the questions and maybe get to the truth of things where you are closer to what really matters...
all for now..
Much love and peace to you all more later.... Andrea
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| Ready to Rock? Can you Dig It? |
| 03.20.04 (9:54 am) [edit] |
DAY 3 in Krabi- Railay Beach East
The Boston crew steps into our tripped out world
bringing the old into the new- the new into the old...
I already mentioned how Amanda is joining the trip. SURPRISE.. a little piece of me already knew. shhh.
I already question what life I live everyday.
Could it be?
All of these beautiful things and welcomed challenges- all mine? Oh my Buddha - as the locals would say. K and I searched out the best place for us to live in a thick heat as Brett babysat our houses.
And among all of the precious stone we found The Diamon Cave Bungalows, which gains its names for the immense Diamond Cave and cliff that towers and breathes down the necks of our light red brick bungalow eaves...
I could see little people climbing this rock each day with mt goats or monkey blood or something- and their puppet strings barely visible, you hear! I was like oooh. They must be advanced. That is high. I will stick to the 123 Wall until its 1-2-3- for me I guess. Later I learned that the 123 wall was just as high...wow.
Karen is once again the bomb digs, mama Asia Korea, beautiful shining as a great friend as she has on other days as well. She hunted down her roots and gave me some wind to test my flight towards my own, when I get enough money to teach in South AMerica, I hope... fuerza!
The Boston crew didn't know what to expect and we knew they would be dealing with foreign image overload, and security issues -which bugs you out at first soooo K and I tried to hook it up for a good start. And here they come.
Banana banana banana shakes all around...3 a day for days wow... monkey juice - we estimated we ate about 100 bananas in 6 days between us all.... chilll out emerald jade ocean breeze and a full moon on its way- What do YOu want to do today? we discuss in the huts...
Ready to ROck ...? Can you dig it?
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| Liquid Jade from where the birds fly... |
| 03.20.04 (8:56 am) [edit] |
Climb Day One: Feb. 29 !!It's Leap Year Y'all!
I did the "123 Wall" on my first climb-
Bret was going to come but he couldn't find Karen so I went alone. Did four climbs and sweated a new ocean for each one -
my god! no wonder the breeze stood out... and the views from the rock tops! -
hey I'm Superwoman going where people envy the birds can travel to... rocked 4 climbs and only made half the 5th ouch!
took a coool dip in the liquid jade beach and took 2 DAYS off to rest my extremely ached out muscles -
I must have shed some skin in the process- I am a new women...
Well my legs were sure beat up! - This was only the beggining of what would make my legs look like I was the stunt double for the man in the Stephen King movie "Misery." Thanks sisters- I am no longer Kathy Bates...
my blood tried to get out and get in the mix too!
I must trust my own feet can bring me up- Keep momentum - It is the key- even if there is no physical grounding for me to rely upon! woah! Look out below...
Legs are strong from within from bottom to top of me- not from the grounding, and no need to always be on my knees!
Trust! and give the knees a break people!
My hands have swallowed Spinach cans that my arms try to digest... Am what I am ....
That night I saw the fire spinners in motion.
Those boys spun in such rhythm to the beats of the music. They keep the energy of the two fireballs in ways I have never seen energy balanced and understood. I saw the one boy while he was away from the show. The look in his eyes when he saw a flame from the nearby torch was intense - a true love and connection for fire. He grabbed the torches' flame, as if burn was cooool. Not for show either, but to satisfy some drive and curiosity burning in his own self to meet and match I suppose...
I drank some Samsong Thai whisky- Watch OUT!- with one of the cool Brits named Helen and hung out with the rasta "Cliffsman" instructors who were not shy with teaching about the local greenery as well....
getting strong for climbing with the Boston crew..
Do they have what it takes? What will they here give and take? - those people I knew in other landscapes and situations now stepping into this tripped out movie of my life on the road...?
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| Cliff Hanger....1 |
| 03.20.04 (8:19 am) [edit] |
-*thanx to K for the lead
Helloooo out there!
Hope things go well in your worlds...
My stay in northern Thailand is on a roll and I have been living out the new stories
BUT
Now its time to back back it up to adventures in Krabi, Thailand down south. For they are moments burying in time- precious treasures I will hopefully unearth here again...
From day one I entered the rock climber's heaven and witnessed the immense mountains to scale... I thought
!!"Hell Yeah I'll do it. I just trekked up some crazy jungles in Malaysia and what's to stop me? Bring it on.."
I didn't know what I was getting into.
The beach shore is strewn with different rockclimbing schools, fire throwing schools, sweet Thai food huts, bars, Thai massage opium den looking shacks with beds, beauty parlors with lady boys chilling, all Thai's soliciting your business, Sawatdeeka's! welcome welcome... things like that.
We lived on the dingier side, where the shore is muddy, unswimmable. Yet you can see, during low tide, the most beautiful of the mangroove trees' bare bones, roots and roots clinging to the pounded shore, its moving bed. The east side beach is budget, but the cooler place to be at. You know, where the party's at. Because you know where we at is where the party's at anywayss - east side was not as resorty, Ken and Barbie and their old posh parents sniffing up the air like on the west side-
Chillin- Checked out the beach... learned 10 tricks from a local named Gai at Mom's Kitchen. He taught us how to spin fire with poi... an interesting lesson in awareness and management of energy flow...
We ran into Emma, the chatty English girl we traveled with in Malaysia, and her friends who were cool bloques not mingin or anything- I don't know ask a Brit!
They made the great roccomendation for rockclimbing with the peoples at "Cliffs man" because we climin' de cliffs man wit dees little cute brown muscular rasta Thai men and we make friends man -
they were really awesome instructors and helped us get to the top of every climb!
And you wouldn't believe the winds from up at our tallest climbs ....
And yes maybe they are just that extra special after your first time you have ever done it like this
- fought yourself physically and mentally until you thought you'd break - to find a way , to make a way, to get to that little bit higher. To get to the next little nook in a rock, that often tilts worse than vertical. And your hands slip and scrrratch and you doubt its there or that you have the power -
and the chalk sweats off your tips
and only your left your toe is clinging to a 1cm ridge in the rock ...
and you don't trust the rope
and you are 80 ft above the ground .......
and all you can hear is that little Thai man's scream bouncing up to you - faintly or popping in and out of surround sound as your ears pop and dizziness and sweat twist you senses a couple notches...
"-- come on -- go just a little bit higher! little bit higher! To the left! just a little bit higher! to the right - -- Andrea-! a little bit higher!
The rockclimbing feats I have been through are such a great metaphor for life -
I will never let the echo of the little rasta Thai men's voices fade when I climb on and on to scale just about everything and anything!
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| HOLY shit!!!! |
| 03.16.04 (9:41 am) [edit] |
What up all...?
I have been mmoving on up -
Now into northern Thailand to a place called Chang Mai and its such peace here. You can feel such cool breezes and some silence brushing down clean festive streets. There is much culture and artwork and every block holds a beautiful wat= Buddhist temple in its soft coconut sticky palm. It wouldn't be Asia if random weird stray dogs or goats or roosters weren't lying all around in odd places or scraping their asses around... This city is pretty small, smaller than the CRAZINESS of Bangkok which is ENORMOUS..
This quaint city is split in half by a wall separating the old city from the new. We are living in the old city where there's this crazy moat that separates the old and new I believe erected by King Rama in like 1200's or something. It's an interesting thing- but I haven't much explored the city yet. We will be living here for a week though- how exciting!
After being totally choked out on the smog and shopping of Bangkok and on saying peace and see you soon to the Boston crew who left us, this place is such a breath of fresh air... I feel the light air and its like anything is more possible or something and it teaches you there is time.
We walked around snap snapping away, looking at the wats. We got a chance to chat with a couple of Buddhist monks who showed us an interesting little magic trick of the disappearing tissue. They were silly and the one had a crazy inhaley geeky like laugh that made us laugh even harder. They explained their lives a little and I will definitely try to head down there again. There is some great art work there and I have many questions for the monks. They like to chat with foreigners to practice their English. Plus they fast or beg for food. The monk today told us that one monk ate the dog's food once! But maybe his English got mixed up or my hearing did because they don't feed the dogs and I wonder what the dogs might have dragged from the edges and alleys?
The temple I think is the oldest in Thailand (Bret correct me if I'm wrong) and the main one is quite run down, sunken from 900m to 600m by an earthquake.
I was lost in a beautiful little shrine house, that housed this scary wax monk -crazy when Karen and Brett urge me to come along because its time to
"Water the Buddha" -
I thought oh ok ok I'm coming -- noo-- now wait - is this one of their little expressions for taking a shit..?
I have been hearing new ways to say taking a shit lightly and not so lightly. Not a surprise that our bowel movements work their way into every conversation while backpacking when you are eating little and new spicy sweet odd foods --you're stomach tries to deal with...
There's the "I need to drop some kids off at the pool" and lately Karen has been saying
"Man, my kids are kicking"
And there used to be one Brett was encouraged to STOP saying
"I 've gotta go Drop some Bombs"
ew.. in public in a Muslim country, Karen was sure people gave doubletakes when they would hear him say that, and so they found other ways...
OK so now - "Watering the Buddha" was not toilet talk but an activity at this wat in which you pull a water holding vessel up a rope pulley to the top of the highest temple roof and pour water on the big Buddha... to cool him off for good luck....
and that was my day...
First day in ChangMai and its time to explore and read what this place is all about -- I have a feeling I will be chilling with elephants - BABY ones no less! real soon...
I have this list of accomplishment things I must do and see in my life, walking through a bamboo forest on a windy day, hiking through a jungle, riding an elephant, seeing a banana tree, picking a pomegranite, you know the little things and today I knocked another off the list: the ability to have long conversations with monks...
its all happening just by KEEPing emphasis on the I-N-G!
I am in search of a good Reiki class (Energy Healing) and I may have to travel 3 hours northwest of this city to Pai to get to a good one- but I still have to do my research here so we'll see. I want to chill with my little crew K and B,
because ---- they are the shit ! Ha!
and so I hope I can stay here the whole time before we move into Laos...
more stories to come
much much love respect and peace to you....
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| MInd oVeR MaTTer 2 |
| 03.13.04 (5:46 am) [edit] |
Krabi- Hat Railay Beach EAST side
--Being able to settle into a place for more than 4 days is so sweet - I love allowing the land and the people and their way to become me and for me to melt into it.
I guess I was missing the Perenthian Islands so much that I had said to Karen and Bret "Could we possibly have enough to do here at Hat Railay Beach for 10 days?? when we first arrived...
Crazy Drea...
don't you know that you only crack the surface of the place's true faces and there is soo much more beauty to discover when you stay longer? I learned quick!
ANd then I wound up staying an extra day and Karen Bret and Erin and Zac moved onto Bangkok- but I couldn't get nough of the rockclimbing - so I stayed behind when one of the local Thai rocklimbing instructors asked me on his day off if I wanted to climb for the day- no pay! just for fun! I couldn't resist that!
soo many things have past my mind spins but watch out- as a 13 day break down will glide through my fingers as I try to reflect on all the things that have flown through my head in this part of my journey....so hard to capture it all....much love and peace to you all....to be continued...
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| MInd oVeR MaTTer 1 |
| 03.13.04 (4:58 am) [edit] |
So we took the long jungle train to paradise- the Perenthian Islands. of the eastern coast of Malaysia...
I allowed the green growth to entrance me and it smears and juts by through my swelling eye ducts paddling through the heavy water building, shapeshifting the scene into my own beautiful watercolor creation.. blurried and magnifyied and steeped in a profound sadness, a mercy cry for support to never forget my mothers , a happiness, an appreciation, a feeling of praise and unworthiness, a promise that I will try hard not to forget them..I finished a good book called "Comfort Woman" which made me feel all this even more... I also lost my grandmother's ring in Malaysia and I guess that is where I may come to visit her as this is now where a piece of her rests...
We left Malaysia's peaceful smiling face of a Muslim country and walked across the border into Thailand making our way up into Krabi town where we would meet our Boston crew, Erin and Zac. I got the surprise of my life, I had to remember to breathe and turn away and hold up tears when Amanda tapped me on the shoulder at the airport and surprised me by not telling me she would make it to Thailand !!
We had been there a couple of days before the Boston crew arrived and checked out the Hat Railay Beach scene. The 4 beach areas off the Gulf of Thailand is so tucked away by massive limestone cliffs rising out of the dark emerald water that you can only reach it by longtail boats driven by little browned Thai men mosquito buzzing your ear in highpitched chants Railay railay! Krabi Krabi! The limestone monster beasts' immense backs rise out of the ocean and drip down in crazy stalactite, stalagmite formations and loom around you as you enter begging and daring you to climb on and try to conquer... this is a rock climber's heaven and we are here no doubt to climb !!...
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