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India'sunandmoon..........
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| India'sunandmoon.......... |
| 04.24.04 (3:48 am) [edit] |
I am on my way to Dharamsala tonight...
Can I truly express my experiences thus far with words...
I used to have faith and a love for words, but their power is nothing now in the face of the new language of energy that I have realized, which I just can't even begin to reveal to you.
I have been spending almost all of my time learning from and teaching Gil. He is the brightest light I have ever met in my whole life. We eat our meals together and consume each other and exchange mostly in silence and everything is understood with out words...
Words are puzzle pieces we throw at each other on the park bench as the night falls and the sliver of a moon becomes the hole of light that marks the climbing we have tried and the little breakthrough we have made to the other side of truth, and the puzzle pieces we have put together only seem to create the picture- the illusion of the life swarming around us...
the dirty children begging and pulling on our arms as we sit forced to pretend blindness but with very aware feelings of their presence... The young shoeshine/repair boys hassling for repairing shoes that they can do nothing for, women in saries lying around the park on their long dresses with their men sprawled out all over...odd dark faces, always trying to pull you somewhere, men trying to sell you one of the randomest things like a pen or sunglasses, useless weird things and only one of them?
We sit in the small plot of green park amidst the constant blaring of the car and rickshaw and and motos and tuk-tuk horns making every sick sound possible into a thick symphony because no driver uses their mirrors and the streets are chaos.... with shouts and horns and moos and ...there are other sounds... like this special drum that vibrates like the ommmm original vibration of life low and deep beneath it all right next to silence... and there's the twisting and easing of the Indian music winding its way up and around street corners and into you....its often too much to take in which is why it spills all around everywhere chaos...
In between our silence Gil relays an idea about India that I can't get out of my head... It is interesting how here heaven can be hell and hell can be heaven at the same time when you see things and when you look into them...
I feel something inside me growing so deeply ... this is so intense...
After Gil and I spit our puzzle piece words at each other to describe our Ways, I felt his bright light and his knowledge of the truth so hardcore - so bright and beautiful and powerful and true it had too much room enough for a coldness and a sadness and a hopelessness inside of it I had never felt coming from light before... it sucked out my innocence and made me empty not knowing what to fill that place with -....
We walked engulfed in more throwing of puzzle pieces that created more of the illusions we use to get at truth the sun's reflection on the sliver, crescent moon illuminated more by the darkness falling to shroud it....we walked in circles and circles with the original idea that we were searching for food, but Since I have been in India I have been living on love and light and knowledge and polluted air more than anything I can physically consume. Our circles and circles reflected our conversation so much we finally could walk no longer... and stopped for a rest....
I think I need more time here, but I don't know how to make that work and if what I think I need is what is part of what is becoming....
We took a tuk-tuk 45 minutes outside of Parganj to the richer neighborhood's cinema that was playing a movie Gil was told to see. It is called "The Butterfly Effect."
If you see this movie and you understand the spiritual power of India and the people that live here and how the foreigners who come here change so deeply and intensely spiritually it appears their eyes are floating whether they know it or not- then you might beable to understand how effected Gil was by this movie, and the moment, and the knowledge it gave to the both of us about us - and not us- the whole universe... he couldn't even touch me or look at me for a while and tears welled up in his eyes... and I knew all about it...
and it put a spin on the circles and circles we walked and talked all day long....
the little pieces Gil related to me all day somehow made the picture illusion dayGLOw that only struggled to imitate the light and truth through the crescent moon nail gripping on the sky we had made earlier....
maybe someday we completely climb through...
running to Dharamsala...
......much love and peace and love to you all....
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