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| ThankYou India......... |
| 06.22.04 (11:59 pm) [edit] |
LAst hellloooo from India....
I must admit... I left McGleod Ganj with a little sadness in my heart...
I have made such a great friend in Nitin, my yoga teacher... such deep love I will always have for him...
I have been blessed to meet such an amazing spirit
and I miss him already... but life isn't always holiday paradise and now its time to figure out the work plan- and such hapiness in that because I am blessed with also loving the work that I do as well....
In 4 hours I head to NY-- how wild !-
I have spent a day in Delhi and met some Americans on the bus- what a weird things to have so much English around me! I was free flowing like crazzzyyy- I think the guy next to me from Cali got sick of hearing me ! They told me some shitty stories about what's going down in America and that was a surprise...right? just the beginning of what i will hear....I wound up sharing a room with this Israeli girl who had just come back from Tokyo and told me all about it... and the one American lady from Minneapolis- She's a really cool woman- 36, bold blonde - down to earth, owns a business selling exports ... we make a cool connection...
My 2 days in Bombay were chill .... just writing and reading and yesterday ---
A trip to meet and touch the Arabian Sea for the first time was in order- me being so close to it when I looked at the map- I set that as my top goal while in Bombay.
And so I hopped on the local bus and went to Juhu Beach. Hot, sticky beach with dark brown ocean water rolling rolling on....
On the shores I got some Henna done on my right palm from a pushy Indian woman...but it was nice to contribute to art and meditate while she painted away...
I got a better henna done the day before in Delhi- an Arabic design which I like better but just another way to pass the day so all is good. I drank out of a coconut and talked to some strange dude that said he saw me in Goa-- which I have never been to but he insisted...
He took me to the beach temple which he said he owned and showed me pictures of him holding huge trophies from his horseracing... he's a jockey... He introduced to me to his horse and then I made my way to walk the beach alone to see what I see and to absorb the sea...
Unfortunately, as in all of India...there are many things on this beach you have to cast aside to almost the point of pretending ignorance in order to be close to nature...
Millions of people began to come as the day went on and the littered beaches was something I should ave expected but am always in complete dismay to witness....
They have all of these hokey crazy metal weird looking kiddie rides littering the shores as well- trippy-
and as I am the absolute ONLY non-Indian on the beach - I am often crowded by chatty, pushy people staring asking questions haggling....
Not the type of natural chatter by the sea I was hoping for.....
A young dark young girl and her naked little younger brother sat by me for a while while I got my henna done... The girl's tattered stained broken dress and rotting teeth and thick odor had to be overlooked as I tried to show her much much love - she would fight with her brother in annoyance of him- she's about 5 he's about 3- she's annoyed it seems of having to care for him... His little body naked in the dirty sticky sand with bloated belly is tearing at my heart - the whole scene is tearing at my heart - yet I sit and smile and only show love play and love for them...
I buy them a meal and sit in silence with them for a little while ... a deep sadness is growing within me as I try to live as they do for a minute to understand and I feel so much pain and discomfort oozing out of them - I want to wrap them up and wash them free of it all....
I am reading a book by Osho about Intution and where it comes from and how to tap into it more right now- and some of the things he speaks of I really HATE - and other things are a good discussion of a subject I like to see dissected and at times he makes much sense...
One thing he says is the reason why India has no good politicians is because all of the great men are more spiritual than dealing in politics- which is a place where the instinct and animalistic thinking reigns more. The best men of India dwell and find real truth by tapping into and being in the more important realm of superconsciousness where intuition and this higher consciousness reigns....
but I wonder what this Osho says about these children and the filth on the beach and the sad poverty of the people that can be helped ONLY through some better politics and some more people who care more about helping alll find truth instead of renouncing everything and going off to a cave to chant and meditate reach truth and superconsciousness for the self ONLY without helping the greater good somehow....
Its funny my feelings about the children here... they pull at your arms with dirty fingers and beg all around - and especially attach themselves to foreigners and now I have realized why-- because we actually look them in the eye and actually give them a word like no- or do you want some rice or fruit or shoes...
I have seen the richer Indians completely ignore these children and I tried it later that day yesterday on the street and it tore at my heart but I remained totally silent and played total ignorance... and they went away quicker than ever before...
sadness... I don't know much about India's politics or their social services etc... but I will never understand how people can have it in their heart to turn such a complete blond eye to their own people who are suffering...
And maybe its a matter of just thinking of the caste and thinking of how maturally SOMEONE needs to take out the garbage- someone needs to do the lower jobs - BUT MY GOD must you throw heaps more of garbage on to them just because yes it is a natural system that there will be people doing lower and higher jobs???
The mountain children were sweet. They would stare in wonder to see the foreigner and giggle and wave and only approach me to check me out in shock and amazement mostly with open arms to let me into their village as a guest - not open arms to ask for alms like the children more in the city... The mountain children were a rough and tough bunch who just like the city children were rugged and filthy and barefoot in cow manuer etc... running about wild and free ...
At first I thought this to be so sad of the mt children- as some I did cry over- but their rugged way of live is what must expose them to the type of harsh bacteria and diseases they must build immunity to in order to survive in such a place... My softness and weakness at times was my sterilized lifestyle I am used to and my knowledge of what the creepy crawlies can do which gave me more unneccessary paranoia more tahn anything... but I saw strength in some of what most would consider utter filthiness and I actually began to appreciate the "natural" life in the mts....
but I wonder what the balance is here- ?
Living life in a sterilized fake-beautiful bubble where there's concealer and airbrushed images and the idea of cleanliness being next to godliness and wimpiness towards nature -eeww-screech there's a spider! eeewww screech there's a spot on my dress I MUST change every DAMN DAY...and eeww screech let's deodorize and load ourselves with perfume and kill the natural sense of smell completely and eww lets shave and wax and pluck ourselves to loook like what?
And I speak of this so freely because DAmn IT .. I believe in these things too- and in the past have done it too much to tooo much of the fullest extent wasting my time on these worries - An hour and a half or more every morning to pick and preen and dress and worry and then I say OOHH but I have no time to do this good thing and that good thing like yoga, like prayer, like make a lunch, LIKE HAVE BREAKFAST!! and sooo there you are - let's count the hours and hours of time we waste worrying about these things that don't matter- reevaluate the time we put into good charitable virtuous things and run the numbers side by side since we like to see numbers so much -- and WHY?? WHY? do that? Why see truth when imagined reality is sooo much more cushy comfortable ....and we don't have to immediately see the neagtive affects of such selfishness - so who cares?
I wonder how much of these things I will naturally begin doing again when I return... All these things I am used to I am used to that have fully proven to expose me as an extremely soft, weak American in the nicest terms... and I thought I was like one who actually cared...
Its hard to think of these things- which is why most people don't analyze their day their time their true knowledge practice - their truth...
And why should I- as one person practice any austerity when everyone else isn't....
Its like the garbage problem in India, I have seen even rich educated people tossing messy junk out windows and then later say-- pollution is due to lack of education..... hmmm and then I know its due to hopelessness and lack of concern....
So how do we better these things and who cares, really?
When you are not naturally made to care immediately in life....
I am happy to say that I have met many people- many Americans out here who ARE taking responsibility for their great privileges they were born into, and the education and "freedom" they have - which complain complain- they are more than many many poor people have....
And all this and much more went through my mind as I rode the bus back to my hotel - triggered mostly by watching many people trip over and walk over a young dark Indian boy sweeping up the dirty sticky garbage from the ground in front of a business with his bare hands and bare feet probably making a whole 10 rupies=25cents for the job.....
My last thoughts on India and the world here while I am here in India -- but there will be many many more to come as I bring India and all of my travels through Asia with me in me as me forever....
much love and peace to you all.... I am off on a plane to NY now.....
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